Why I want to do pharm sales. an essay.

Yesterday was a moody one after I figured out that I couldn't log into my univerity's career website that would allow me to apply for a career workshop I REALLY want to do.

• the deadline was yesterday, so this inability to log in meant I would not be able to apply.
• Last year I wasn't eligible (by .02 GPA point lack). (this statement is to show you I have invested a lot of time wanting to be in this class, even longer wanting to do this type of career.) (and this workshop is part of the reason I worked so hard tom improve my GPA last semester!)
• The reason I waited so long was due to having to write a 250 word essay describing why I wanted to learn more about Pharmecutical Sales, the topic of the workshop. I finally wrote it a few days ago on paper and just needed to type,edit, and submit it. My GPA is still on the line.. so I feel that puts more importance on this essay and I wanted it to be good.

Apparently though, I was trying to log in on the employers.. not the students page. I logged in today, partially just to really confirm to myself that I had missed the deadline and was an idiot.

today is awesome because:

• they extended the deadline
• I just finished editing the essay and it is better than I thought it would be!

What do you think?

At the marketing roundtables I talked to an Eli Lilly pharmaceutical representative named Koby and asked him about a green and white lapel pin he was wearing. As he explained Pain Awareness Month, I could tell he cared about more than just ‘pushing the product.’

Marina is a twenty-something Californian and Youtuber (ysabellabrave) suffering from Fibromyalgia. I had watched many of her videos and enjoyed her singing classic songs that are usually only found on vinyl, insightful anecdotes, and her faith in God and humanity.

One day she spoke about her fibromyalgia. I had already admired her ability to always be positive and smiling, and it increased tenfold after I learned of her constant suffering. It inspired me to learn more about the disease. I am always excited to see when she updates us on her ‘good days’, especially when she received disability, as pain disease sufferers are often misunderstood and given little assistance.

Although it is an unconventional way to be aware of an issue, I have found that Youtube has a way of making the world smaller, and also allows me to educate myself on many deserving issues I would not otherwise encounter.

I want to find a career where I can be professional and competitive and be able to impact the lives of people like Marina who deserve to be healthy, happy, and correctly diagnosed. I think the Eli Lilly Pharmaceutical class would be a great opportunity for me to learn how to better accomplish that goal.

Love, luck, and career workshops galore ,
J

a pretty good monday.

Sitting at my kitchen table at home (the home I grew up in and one that rarely feels as such lately.) But when I woke up this morning (ok, I admit.. this afternoon) There was a bowl of grapes and all the best parts of the KC Star separated out for me. and it felt like home.

I know I make resolutions at the beginning of all things new. but I've made one this morning for 1247 1/2. (the house I will move into soon for this next school year. where I'll be living with people who are basically strangers.) I resolve to have open honest communication with all of them. to never go to bed mad at one of them. and to make them one breakfast, one lunch, and one dinner per month. It might be waffles or just some fresh fruit for breakfast. simple sandwiches for lunch or maybe some JDel, and probably a classic one of my recipes (hamburger soup, pork chops etc) for dinner. something simple, but I think they will appreciate it. And I think if we all make an effort to make each others lives better, and not just our own.. then it will be a home.

Free video on itunes right now - I'm only 26 seconds into it and I like it. It's Brooke White (who I believe was on American Idol) singing Radio Radio

I like.

I also am really liking Pandora, I should get my own account because I'm still using someone else's who signed in on my computer. When we were in Apron Strings (a cutesy kitchen store in Hutch, KS) they were playing Pandora - a station made of songs similar to Duffy

I'm still watching this video - I love the imagery. It's bright and summery and I love the part where she's running and dancing. I so do that :) when no one is watching! haha that's why I like running in the dark or not on the street :)

Also. Today is a big day. I'm wearing an AGD shirt for the first time since I officially quit. It seems little, but half my wardrobe disappeared into storage that day, and I'm finally being okay with wearing it again.

Love, newspapers, grapes, and music,
J

Required Reading

My sister writes (well, used to write) for a compilation blog that her friend Sam started, This Ordinary Day.
Sam vehemently protests that she did not start a blog, as she sees that as a negative thing. (btw I love that google spells better than me. vehemently.)
TOD is a compilation of people from all over who know one another somehow who write about ordinary successes and optimistic things. Many or all of them are journalism or english majors or teachers.

This is my sister on TOD. I think she's a pretty amazing designer and writer when she puts her mind to it. And so do most people she meets. She's kinda a genius.
And this is Susan, Cough. (said with a long oh, like coke w/o the ke) She is one of the best people I know for so many reasons. She has affected so many people I know, including me. and her writing, though uncommon, is beautiful, poignant, and touching. Her writing is rare because she spends her time helping young people write and helping them put together beautiful publications and put together their own lives. She was my high school journalism teacher.

If I had to assign required reading. I would require you to read some of Susan's TOD's. I would require anyone who knows my sister or anyone who has ever been mean to someone about something they love, especially when they are trying to do a good thing.. to read her Jayplay article about Trego. I would require the reading of John Green's novels, especially Looking for Alaska and Paper Towns. I would require Harry Potter, well because I love it. And I would require "Don't sweat the small stuff for teens" especially the chapter on 90-10.

And I wouldn't require my blog. I appreciate so much when people actually read this - even if I'm a bit perturbed at first when I didn't know you'd been reading. But reading this is like a gift to me, a chance to try to understand me a little better. And I'm trying really hard not to expect so much. Mostly for my own good, but also so I learn to appreciate people better for who they are and not who I want them to be for me. But that's another entry.

Love, optimism, and good quotes,
J

another good TOD:
I'm not a runner, but I've been trying to practice lately. I'm a Catholic, but I've been getting out of practice lately. (Last time I went to church was easter and last time I prayed was when I needed something.) So TOD's entry here made me smile. made me want to run. made me want to pray and read the bible.


Thoughts to expand on later:
Someone once told me that staying happy was the ultimate endurance.
I have always struggled with this because I truly put a high importance on staying happy and cheerful for both my benefit and the benefit of those around me.

I expect less from my guy friends, I think this is why I prefer hanging out with them. They don't let me down, not because they are more reliable at all, but because I expect less.

I'm a huge fan of finding out that more people I know have blogs. I feel like it's much harder to share a blog with a person who doesn't have one. it just feels strange to put yourself out there and not be able to see what parts of themselves they would put up there.

also.. I really like this song

Now let's see, what do I have now...*

I have admission to the business school at my university!!!

I have very real prospects of graduating on time next May!

I have a slight tan and plans to make it darker

I have a blog to get my thoughts out.

I have lost a few pounds already this year and..

have taken up running and...

I have a workout plan I'm excited about - Belly-off by Women's health

I have work, which I like a lot, which will increase soon! which means I will..

have a disposable income all summer!

I have an interesting class to take on brain and behavior (psychology)

I have exciting prospects as a volunteer - Jazoo and Country Stampede

I have a softball team with my work- JD's Allstars ftw!

I have at least 3 boys I kinda like (CM, AG, TT) all of which I would rather be friends with than anything more

I have 4 new roommates to be excited about for next year

I have wonderful little cousins who want me to come hang out with them

I have a brand new baby neice! (well, It's my mom's boyfriend's son's girlfriend's baby.. but still, I'm an aunt!)

I have Q, the best roomie ever.

I have pen pals in Angela (who will also be teaching me thai again!) and Jessi

I have Sofie who will be coming home soon

I have my sisters and mom

I have my grandpa to go to the casino with.

I have the lake to go to whenever I please

I have Ben, Danielle, the three aformentioned boys, michelle, Roslyn, Chris, Trent, and many others to hang out with in Lawrence this summer.

I have Amanda, crabaugh, and nol to catch up with

I have Bop it to keep in touch with and see as much as I can this summer.

I have partially burned bridges to fix in CM and BM.

I have the audiobooks of Fight club and The Boleyn Inheritance to finish

I have a few other books I'm reading

I have a beautiful new computer to play with.

I have a great apartment to live in.. even if it has termites and isn't always clean.. It's still pretty great.

I have a lot better attitude than I've had this past year

I have a party for an 8th grader to go to tomorrow with my cousins

Today I got into the business school and now I feel like summer can really begin. I'm excited.

Love, summer heat, and happiness,
J
*This entry is based off of the story of Katherine Howard, 5th wife of Henry VIII, as she is portrayed in The Boleyn Inheritance, which I am listening to on audiobook right now. She's a very vain little 15 year old who is always talking about how many dresses etc she has or doesn't have and she starts many of her narratives as 'Now Let's see, what do I have now...' The book also portrays Anne of Cleaves, 4th wife of Henry, and Jane Boleyn who was the wife of George Boleyn who was brother to 3rd wife, Anne Boleyn. I recommend it -and the audiobook telling is long but well done! It is by the same author as The Other Boleyn Girl, Phillipa Gregory.
This may also be a pretty vain way of thinking of things - but It's me finally appreciating what I do have - which has been hard to do recently with all the things I felt I was losing.

So I'm still tirooed. but it's okay - because sleep is pretty much the best invention ever - have you ever had sleep before?

Missed free lunch so im gonna stop eating EL fudge double stuffed elves and eat some real food and then study.. boo.

but really? sleep and facebook photos are awesome. This is one of the few times where i can literally not choose a profile picture bc there are so many awesome ones!

Love and silly photos,
J


honesty box comment I got today, probably from AR, def from a boy: I think your really cute, but you seem so innocent that guys don't think they should make a move on you.

response: blog entry.

I have been taught my whole life to be the good girl. To be kind and gentle and make people feel better. To share. Not to judge too harshly. To realize everyone has their own story.
I have struggled my whole life to be likeable, less annoying, easy to be around.
But I have never been told how to be "sexy" and I think that's my next reasonable step up.
I still carry that idea of 'am I being annoying' around, but I think I'm pretty much over that.
I know I'm cute, no ego problems here, I know I am attractive in most ways, but the freckles are cute, not sexy. the makeup I wear is conservative. The shirts I wear are mostly modest. I need to change this image. Be sexier, but still respectable, still not a whore.
I'm not quite sure how to accomplish this task.
I also go through stages where I think - I'm not at my best - whether it be emotionally or physically - that I just don't want to be in a relationship. But right now I'm ready.. ok.. well.. at the end of this week.. after finals haha.. but I'm ready to try to be a better version of myself. One where boys make a move. One where I'm more confident, and still not a whore. Can you tell I'm afraid of being a whore?
I want AG to call, I want to hang out with and talk to CM and PC and even AR and ask them what I can do to be better at appearing less innocent. less naive.

Because I'm definitely pure, but not naive.

Looking for ways

Today I wrote down this quote from the book I'm reading, Ask Again Later by Jill Davis . Only a bit in, but I like it a lot, It's a little too easy to read. but I like the wording, very succinct.

"I was looking for ways to enhance my life without changing anything significant. "

This is how I feel right now. Life is not great, but I know that it has been and could be different. I know that I want to love the life I live.

I want to be able to inteact with people better. My coworkers, my friends, my family members, boys, baristas.

I want to be as stylish as my TA that I just saw walk into the shop next door to my coffee venue. (Vedrana, my Business Law TA from last semester. She made me want to go to Law school, which I just might do.)

I want to be able to concentrate better on my schoolwork, in and out of class. And find ways to fill my time when I don't have a lot to do that doesn't involve this wonderful computer.

I want to be able to concentrate on offline things for long periods of time. I can spend all day updating my website and archiving things online, but 10 minutes of Econ and I'm bored. This is a problem.

I want my abnormal psychology class to not make me self diagnose. Today we talked about people who are depressed , very mildly but almost constantly and always blame their sadness on life, not chemicals in the brain. And lately (since about October) I've been a lot sadder than I usually am... and have had a harder time dealing with little conflicts that I would usually just brush off and go back to my optimism. and I don't know.. I used to think depression was over-diagnosed, but I'm not used to doing normal tasks and having to hold back tears. And I've got a history of abnormal behavior in my family. and I just don't want to be my dad. And I don't know if it would be ridiculous to pursue this, but maybe drugs for a bit would help. Maybe I need it and treating it now could help so the other craziness won't come out. I don't want to be abnormal, but maybe I am. and maybe that's okay, as long as I take care of it and don't let it become who I am.

I want people to understand that I need affirmation and that I want to spend time with them, without me having to say so. Or maybe just learn to say so without feeling creepy.

I want to have better handwriting

I want to have more random unplanned adventures probably with the bop it girls. I want to go urban exploring and play in fountains and have random games of flag football.

I want to find a home for next year maybe on Mass street with one or two of my friends. People like Q, KT, or RA, people I can confront without wondering if they will hate me for it. Someone I feel comfortable being blunt with. Or could get to where I do. And who can get to be comfortable being blunt with me. face to face. No textual communication allowed. (update May 9-09 I found a place to live! )

People don't read this often - but if you do - what are some things you'd like to be able to change in your life - even if it meant changing something significant.


One Sentence of the day: My oldest sister once curiously asked my Grandma Helen why her phone number was written on her arm.

F**** my life of the day: Today, at the end of a really long day my boyfriend was rubbing my back. I told him I appreciated how sensitive he was being. His response? "I was just trying to figure out how to unhook your bra." FML

7 habits.

I've been reading Seven Habits for highly effective people.

I'm through the intro and just finished habit 1: Be PROACTIVE.

It talks a lot about how responsibility is response-ability. It's your ability to choose the way you respond to things.
This is something I really need to work on. A lot of not so great things have happened to me recently, but they only happened to me because I am allowing them to happen to me.

I'm not saying I could have avoided being in the car wreck, but I am saying that I could have let it not ruin my trip. I'm ashamed that I let it ruin a good time. I'm ashamed that I let it be me that week.
"So yooou're the friend that got in the car wreck." Ya, that's me. But everything and everyone is fine. That's what I told people, but inside I wasn't fine. I wasn't letting myself be fine. And I expected people to realize I wasn't fine and do something for me to make me feel better. They didn't. Apparently I'm pretty good at acting like everything is fine. And it should have been.

Has something happened to you lately that you felt you couldn't control it - here's a tip - you can. You can control how you feel about it and be proactive in making sure the situation improves. You can't always choose the consequences of your actions, but you can be proactive in making them be better.



It also talks about expanding your circle of influence in your life. You can't fix everything, but you can widen the amount of things under your control.


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Also - it's not that I didn't appreciate some of the responses to the car wreck, I just pushed most of them away. I let Chad worry for 2 seconds, and was grateful that he did. I let Nick hug me. those were the best.

So try and be proactive and not just worried about other's responses or efforts to fix things. Like right now, I'm gonna be proactive. I'm gonna get dressed in time to get a pancake.

90-10 and expectations.

"Knowledge of 90-10 doesn't make the 10 irrelevant."

New Years:Birthdays:first kisses. All have high expectations.*

first today was the first day I got asked for a kiss.

Well, a drunk guy once told me "I can tell by the intensity in your eyes that you totally want to get on me right now" but thats as far as he got. this poor guy didn't get far either.

My first kiss will not be with someone I met a few hours earlier. It will be perfect.

First kisses are to New Years are to birthdays. They all have such big expectations. Like, that your friend won't abandon you for some guy at a party.

feeling What started out as a dispiriting couple hours of 2008, turned out quite okay. I <3 my g-dot!

Moment Went to visit my g-dot Shawn today. We colored pictures and I got to see some of her life. It's always pretty sweet to get a view of someone in their home when you're used to only seeing them in one type of environment.

Small world. She had her senior photos taken by my cousin Heather Morrow

quote "In the contemporary world where things fall apart and the center cannot hold, you have to imagine a community where there is no center." - John Green (partially courtesy of william butler yeats)

Toast.Here's to a new year with our favorite brothers. A new year of being proud nerds forming an amazing new community!

Resolutions
I have quite a few.
1.Mind
A. Study
B. Organize
c. Read (a book a month)
d. Write
E. Job: (apply, work, resume)

2. Body
A.Sit ups(25 a day)
B. Stretch
c. Cardio(once a week at least)

3. Soul
A. Pray
b. Church
c. Practice faith
d. boys (learn to flirt , kissed by 21!)
e. friends (keep relationships, make new -- one is silver and the other gold!)


: = is to. ::=as
i/e
letter:envelope::chocolate:box
read:
letter is to envelope as chocolate is to box)


another quote from way back:
"Curbs can be very interesting. But they can be very bad. Curbs keep us back. True, they are good in the sense that they keep the traffic off of sidewalks, but they keep the people away from the street. We are one big world stuck on different curbs. There are race curbs, religion curbs, sex curbs, friendship curbs etc. and we keep ourselves to one. We are to scared to cross the street and introduce ourselves to the person on the other side. Don't limit yourself to one curb. There are other people on other curbs that are interested in the same tv show as you, or same food as you, or believe in the same things and those are the people you want to know. Those are all reasons for building friendships. Starting off with one common interest and expanding it into something deeper. Go deeper into a friendship that noone has ever accomplished but Jesus. Get to know someone, really well. What do they like, what do they hate, what is their family members names, any past pets, everything. Don't be scared. How incredible would it be to know that someone out there really knows who you are. Someone out there would know just how to cheer you up, they would know how to handle things because they know you. Try it. It seems impossible but it will only take time. Step off the curb and introduce yourself to new people, you might be suprised."

written BY LAUREN MCCORD

Idols.

This week I'm going to concentrate on ridding false idols from my life.


Definitions of idol:

noun: a material effigy that is worshipped as a god

noun: someone who is adored blindly and excessively

noun: an ideal instance; a perfect embodiment of a concept




Idols can include:

crushes-- Boys are people too, I can't let them intimidate me. Can't let myself think they are perfect. Can't think about it so much.

websites, yes.. websites.. I adore facebook no matter how much I know I waste my time on it.


Another goal of mine is to worship/value something else - my body. I need to get in shape b/c this is getting ridiculous!! not skinny, in shape.. and if skinny happens.. so be it! :)



music of the week:

Internet love song

"Pour our hearts out on the screen, one line at a time"


He said she said - Ashley Tisdale

yes, it's by a disney star, but I looove it!


funny video of the week: