emo

I'm so emotional right now.. maybe its the sad cheesy lifetime movie i watched earlier or the fact that all my roomies and bop it girls went home for break and im very very alone. maybe its because I don't want to try to get a boy because I'm too afraid of not getting one... btu that i want someone to know me this well
eulogy of sorts

this is a girl writing about a boy who she loved who loved God. This boy's body hasn't been found since his car slid on ice and into traffic. the headlights went out so no one could see the car. they got out and ran for the side of the bridge, there was no shoulder so he jumped. he landed in freezing water. The others jumped and held on or got off the bridge or something.. and he didn't. his name was John Paul Foget.

He went to my friends small catholic college. 2000 people.. so i'm sure she knew him or of him.
I didn't cry until I read part of that note
'he watched vlogbrothers with me'

he was a nerdfighter. we lost a nerdfighter.

If I died tomorrow I would be like Margo, most people have a fake view of who I am. No one knows me. and that scares me. I don't want to be remembered as perfect. I don't want to be remembered as enduringly happy.

I'm just scared that no one knows me.