you know when you're in a group. It can be a sport team, a scholastic group like journalism, a religious group.. or even a sorority. And there are some people in that group that just make you not want to be considered a part of that group. These people make you doubt if you should be in this group, because if this is who is attracted to the group, why the hell would you want to be a part of it.

But then there are people who are so good that it makes you proud that you are part of that group. Thanks Rula. Thanks for letting me know that even if I drop, I can still be considered a part of this group somewhere down the road.

"We've got you for life."

This is opposite of the message I have been receiving.
"As I explained in my last email it is not possible with your circumstances for you to become an early alum. *insert group here* would still like to consider you a [member] but the decision to change your membership status is yours."

I just wish I had never gone on that trip, never seen the side of these people that makes me wish I had never known them. I just wish I could separate that better in my mind from this group.

But I talked to an alum of this group, Rula, and she made me feel a million times better.. even if I'm crying uncontrollably now, I feel a lot better. I just wish everyone could be half as nice as her. I just wish people, me included, could care more about other people and less about themselves.

edit/ and she just followed it up with an e-card. more affirmative words and also kinda a thoughtful gift. along with the service she showed me by taking the time to talk with me. thats 3 of the 5 love languages. She's got this shit down!

more for my records than for this blog, but I love saving words of affirmation.

"Jackie!

You are amazing! I know you are an awesome *insert sorority name here*, and always have been, since the day you pledged yourself to us. You will keep on truckin right through and it's my belief that you've only begun to experience the blessings that *insert sorority name here* will bring you through new friends and sisters that you haven't even met yet! We've got you for life!

Loyally, Rula "