It's been a long week, finally merging into summer schedules.
Finally realizing how much I miss the amount of human contact found in my classes, no matter how impersonal it may be.
Not enough work to keep me occupied and too lazy to drive to Shawnee to see family and friends.
Finally realizing how many people are just gone.
And feeling as if the two girls I thought would want to spend time with me, just seem to want to close their doors.
After nights like last friday - all I wanted was some human contact. I just wanted to be in the same room as someone.
Just a bit of physical presence. The kind that curly tries to fill unsuccessfully. (a bear I've had since childhood that it a lot more beaten up than in this picture. he makes a great pillow.)
Tonight I hung out with 2 people who are friends of friends. and therefore, they barely know me, but open me with such open arms and hearts that it amazes me. They don't judge me or make me feel like I need to be dressed better or be wearing more makeup - they're just people who want to hang out.
So when I say 'you can kick me out whenever' I really mean that if you let me - I will stay here all night and just talk and watch dumb youtube videos - so you really should kick me out at some point - i won't leave voluntarily.
I need people right now that make me feel like I can be a dumbass or just myself and still be okay.
And facebook chat and texting just doesn't cut it.
I need your physical presence in the room.
J
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